A Shocking C101 True Story It was one o’clock in the morning, and there was only one thing a young single man should have been doing. I was Facebooking to see what thoughts were being shared by my international friends from C101. Michael Allhouse was pondering the results of a meeting in which he had been warned not to stay after hours, in case the students ever attacked him “guys” he wrote, pleading, “please don’t”. Dr. Tim Green tried to reassure him that if anything happened, everyone would soon notice when the photocopier ran out of paper. These words, however, failed to reassure Michael as he realised that there are packs of students just roaming around on campus all the time. ALL THE TIME! Contemplating how a team should be put together to defend him from some kind of coup by the students he said; “we need a good looking guy, a planning guy, a big strong guy, and a crazy guy”. Competition was rife to be the crazy guy. As his blood began to boil at the thought of the inhumanity clearly being planned, Michael Allhouse declared his intention to strike at the heart of student planning; the Student Union! Too long had they been sending students – actually spies – into C101 to find out where the coffee stuff was and such like. It was time to be proactive. As a C101 gang slowly began to form under the pressure of terrible threats, a cunning plan was hatched; SMASH the Student Union from INSIDE! Elections are held every year in order to decide who should be a sabbatical officer and who should be fed mercilessly to the wolves of student politics. Three C101ers stood for election, one got in. The machinations of C101’s OPERATION SMASH THEM, SMASH THEM ALL UP (OSTSTAU) had begun. With one agent in place all was ready for a deadly strike. This is the story of 2011/12... The story continues 2012/13... True story by Thomas Felix Creighton